22Nov
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13Jan
Posted by 僕の話を聴いてほしい in ライブ情報
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When did I realize I was God? Well, I was praying and I suddenly realized I was talking to myself.
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Either he's dead or my watch has stopped.
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The bureaucracy is expanding to meet the needs of an expanding bureaucracy.
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Common sense is the collection of prejudices acquired by age eighteen.
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God gave men both a penis and a brain, but unfortunately not enough blood supply to run both at the same time.
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A bird in the hand makes it hard to blow your nose.
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Men are not disturbed by things, but the view they take of things.
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I do not consider it an insult, but rather a compliment to be called an agnostic. I do not pretend to know where many ignorant men are sure -- that is all that agnosticism means.
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Sometimes I lie awake at night, and I ask, 'Where have I gone wrong?' Then a voice says to me, 'This is going to take more than one night.'
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We've all heard that a million monkeys banging on a million typewriters will eventually reproduce the entire works of Shakespeare. Now, thanks to the Internet, we know this is not true.
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Go on, get out. Last words are for fools who haven't said enough.
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I'm all in favor of keeping dangerous weapons out of the hands of fools. Let's start with typewriters.
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A people that values its privileges above its principles soon loses both.
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Tact is the ability to tell a man he has an open mind when he has a hole in his head.
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I'm not going to get into the ring with Tolstoy.
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TV is called a medium because it is neither rare nor well done.
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Nothing is wrong with California that a rise in the ocean level wouldn't cure.
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Our government has kept us in a perpetual state of fear - kept us in a continuous stampede of patriotic fervor - with the cry of grave national emergency.
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The President has kept all of the promises he intended to keep.
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Don't stay in bed, unless you can make money in bed.
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It was God who made me so beautiful. If I weren't, then I'd be a teacher.
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... one of the main causes of the fall of the Roman Empire was that, lacking zero, they had no way to indicate successful termination of their C programs.
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Go on, get out. Last words are for fools who haven't said enough.
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God is a comedian playing to an audience too afraid to laugh.
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The wit makes fun of other persons; the satirist makes fun of the world; the humorist makes fun of himself.
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I agree with the reforms, but I want nothing to change
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Total absence of humor renders life impossible.
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Posted by Subaction showcomments propecia archive remember at 2014.04.09 09:11 | Edit
The only rules comedy can tolerate are those of taste, and the only limitations those of libel.